People need to know whats going on in the world. thats why god invented the news.

but news should be balanced yet have fun like play-of the-night or funny picture of the week. the news should also not send people money! most news companies have corrupted, but i will tell you the WORST: the onion.

The onion sends me tiny checks. i dont know where to even buy checks so small. they are only have an inch by 2 inches. they send me one a year, but for an amount im not comfortable sharing on the web. the signature is so tiny that i dont know if a human wrote it. it looks like ants bit it a couple times.

everybody knows that if you drop an onion on the ground its dirty and you need to wash it off. WELL this onion is dirty from the inside, you should throw it away because its rotten!

Rotten truths about the onion:

1. the onion doesn't pay there journalists. its a crime that they send me money and not pay there own people. some of the journalists have to eat from the CEOs trashbag that he keeps in his sports car when he plays golf.

2. the onion had a holiday party last december and forgot to mention kwaanza. a friend from the inside told me and i made a complaint. i sent it to fox but didnt hear back. if you know someone who works at fox news tell them, or cnn, anything really, except the onion duh.

3. all employees must chop onions without crying before they are allowed to write the news. my friend bryan had an eye infection and couldn't help that his eye was watering and they made him do push ups in the snow and the snow was 2 feet deep. he got frostbite on this nose and now he cant smell ice cream.

So if you need to know the news, don't go to the onion. try other sites like bbc or youtube or even ask me, i know alot about what's going on.


Click here to go back to Benny's website against sending him money

i posted this on May 27 2008